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The Abattoir

Du Must Amboss Oder Hammer Sein

4/19/10 11:45 am - Driving to Churchmore

At least I'm dreaming again. Huge cyclopean tunnels a la Ninja Turtles or Ghostbusters. Running down them to make a dinner date. Simply fantastic. Then having a car chase that featured a shootout. I had a Thompson, she was wearing a ruby red dress. Simply lovely color on her.

And now to get to work.

4/19/10 01:09 am - It is and it isn't

She's sitting right across the hall from me. I want so badly to just go to her and grab her and tell her that I want her. Not just her body. I want her mind, I want to breathe what she breathes and see how she sees. I want to be a part of someone again. It's so cold in here, and I'm tired and scared. I have too much work to do. I look at how much I have to do and I'm paralyzed, I simply can't do it.

And then she walks in, after all the nonsense. She puts her arms around me and I can feel her breath on my cheek, feel her warmth and oh God it makes me shake. It takes all I have not to cry and kiss her and take her and take her. It's not fair of me to make an assessment of her current relationship, but from what it looks like she's not getting what she needs. It looked like that for me not too long ago, and it was true, so I can't help but wonder if it's the same. Do I really need a relationship now? Is it healthy? I've already mourned it, but is there an amount of time that I need to be taking for myself to get my head straight? Maybe. But if I do that alone, I don't think I'll be able to be there for someone else. I've been so lonely these few months and I'm fucking sick of it. And from what it looks like she is too. This is a most real pain.

I want to be in love again.

This is not fair.

10/31/08 08:35 pm

10 swings R&L
10 Pilates pushups
10 C&P R&L
5 Snatch/Windmill R&L

I'm starting back with the KB's.
I'm not giving them up again.

9/3/08 02:14 pm

Sorry it's been so long between posts, but after school, rugby and music it's a little hard to keep the rest of my life nailed down.


School is going well, I should have all my books in the next week.
Rugby is getting better, as I get back into running shape. Rogaine is kind of a douche, but at least he kind of knows what he's talking about. We have a scrimage this friday, looking forward to it.

On a deeper note, I've decided that I'm going to quit drinking for awhile. A glass of wine every now and then or a beer isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about drinking like I did on saturday, start at 1:30 in the afternoon and end somewhere in the neighborhood of 2:00 in the morning. It's beginning to affect, to the slightest degree, some of my important relationships, and I'm not willing to let that happen.

Anyway, today's workout shall go as follows:

Bench 3x8
Squat 3x8
DL 3x5
Pullup max

8/24/08 04:08 am

It's been awhile since my last post and much has happened since then. I've moved into my apartment, school has begun, and I'm now playing bass for a bunch of drunks. This evening I had the opportunity to meet Bob Dole with Mallet, that was exciting. Anyway, I'll finish my tomato soup and fold laundry.
Goodbye Murshin Durkin, I'm sick to death of workin!

8/11/08 03:59 pm - Comeback's a Bitch...

It's been awhile.


Snatch 10 each side
Double KB front squat 8
x 3

Sprints 10 x 40m

After which I will paint my bells:


7/29/08 11:26 pm - Today

My back is in pain from yesterdays overhead squats, so I'll just stretch my hamstrings and refine a workout for tomorrow.


Creatures (For Awhile)

1 km row, no rush
Pull up test

Deadlift @290 x 8
Overhead Squat @ 45 x 5
Bechpress @ 150 x 8
x 3

Swings x 10 each side
Clean and Press x 10 each side
Snatch x 10 each side
Row for 1 km
x 3

DB Piston Press w/ 40's
Pull down @ 150
One armed rope pull down @ 60
x 3

1 km row
pullup test

...and why not 20 sprints at the end of things, just to vulcanize those rubber legs?

7/28/08 05:37 pm - Wolves at Heart

I decided today that I'm going to start using Wesleyan's gym 3 or 4 days a week while I'm here.

Todays Workout:


Deadlift @ 290 x 5
Bench press @150 x 8
Overhead squats with 45 lbs bar x 5

Until form suffers

1 km Row for time

Piston dumbell press @ 40 x 8
Lat pull down @ 130 x 8
One arm pull down using rope handle @ 50 x 8 each side


1 km Row for time

Windmills w/ 45 lbs bar.

My times:
Row 1: 4:26
Row 2: 4:40

7/24/08 12:47 am - Last Act

20 snatches each arm
and a few rounds of explosive pushups.

Now goodnight.

7/22/08 08:43 pm

Got in a few TGU's before work plus practiced the pistol using the doorway assist.
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